Hunger fills me as emptiness circumvents my last defense. I tried so hard not to but have failed and now it's gotten in. Thoughts turn to dust and imagination barges in, making what seemed forgotten remember that I hadn't forgotten anything at all. Reminiscing on past actions and the lack there of I feel pain and frustration driving me mad. Tearing me up inside I fall apart only to pick myself up again to suffer through more torture brought to me by myself in an attempt to meet a ends or perhaps to find something underneath which I can not decide. The red blots out my sight making everything to unclear to decipher. My view is skewed and everything becomes a single color.
I sit and for a while nothing happens, everything makes me skittish, all my senses are twisted. Finally I let go, that's when it comes. My sight returns and I can smell. I'd know I could touch and feel but your not there and that's how I know, I've not forgotten my love for you nor will I ever. I break down and cry trying to understand why this is happening to me. Why is it that I can't just forget what I must forget to survive, what I can't have, who I can't be with? It makes a hole and buries it's self deep inside me and again I get up and move on. Maybe tomorrow night I won't feel this way.
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