Screams Violently in the Dark!!!!

Oh fun! "deep depressed sarcasium"

So my comp is fried right now, toast-a-mego... I'm not sure what's eating it, but I just formated it (yes I'm on the comp I know, me and my magic). So I have crap to do tomorrow now for sure, hw, fixing my comp, babysitting, maybe I'll go hang myself while I'm at it.

Anyone have any better ideas about this girl issue I've got, because right now my plan is to hack her myspace account. Unblock myself, and add myself as a freind. Then see how long it takes her to notice.

Open the window...

beyond what I can confess, more painful then I might be capable to describe, somewhere inside I hurt and scream in anguish, screaming so loud yet you can not hear why these words don't come out quite clear enough for you to understand, holding back to pace myself so that I may not race myself but finding it hard to hold it in, these feelings I'd like to share around, so freely I might turn these feelings to sound and then you might know somehow, these emotions running though my head, making my blood boil, driving me mad, you might have a grasp then of how deep the depths are, from which my shout has made it so far, bellowing from the depths of hell, spawning forth in a burst of radiance to fulfill... the one thing in any existence that matters still, and can never be changed, no matter the spell, to explain the meaning of my love... and nothing more, returning to it's origins, the depths of hell, and hoping when it returns, someone's opened a window, so that the light may shine though... showing no remorse, if the window is still found to be drawn...

Counting Flowers on the Wall

Here I sit and there I wait,
I make no move to hasesen my journy,
I'm just fine sitting here,

My pain means nothing,
My feelings are mute,

I'll wait forever,
Just sitting and waiting,
After all I have nothing better to do...

Silence Canyon

Though the canyon I am buried in is a deep one, my calls receive no reply from these overbearing walls. My loudest cry seems to make absolutely no sound. I cast stones in the air but don’t hear their landing on the ground. I listen closely as I watch a lizard scramble up a dead tree, but when I hear no sound I know where I am and I don’t want to stay.



In silence canyon no words can be spoken that another can hear. No movement or action can be taken to disturb the absence of sound. The silence is so deafening that even remembering a sound is impossible. You can’t hear yourself speak, nor act, nor think.



I did not come here by choice, though I know how I got here and I wasn’t forced into coming. It was just a pit stop they said on the tour bus, somewhere to rest your feet and enjoy a little quite. They did however forget to mention what time to return to the group, and now I’m here alone, unable to call for help.

I'm by myself

Unsure of where I stand and not knowing where I am, floundering to find myself, trying to understand. Eating myself up inside just to see if I might die all the while trying to find what makes me tick and what makes me cry. Seeing what it is isn't enough, feeling it is just on the surface. I run like a flash just to get ahead of myself.

I trip, fall, and pass myself lying there. When I see that I have fallen I return to the scene, not to help but to criticize. I now that it's myself I'm talking to, but I know that I know how to run and I shouldn't have fallen. A swift kick should do the trick, but I hesitate to kick myself while I'm down. Naturally my foot moves and I double over as I kick myself to the ground while lying there.

I lay there by myself for some time, trying to understand, unsure of where I stand, not knowing where I am. Now I've found myself, that's me lying there, and with that it's pretty clear where I stand. Now to find out where I am, it might not prove to be difficult it only I wasn't nowhere to be found.

I suppose it doesn't matter, where I am means nothing anymore. Something better must come around, something I can do, somewhere I can go. A place I can call home, one that makes me feel good. Until then I'll just lay here by myself and dream.