My Comp

Geez... doesn't anyone else get pissed about these darn anti virus companies making stupid viruses that advertise their product. I just got the mother load of them from one site while searching for some info, I mean WTF? Can't I guy do anything on the net these days without paying someone or having to format his comp after every visit to the WWW? I'm on my laptop now while I back up files, stupid kindergardrens and their lame viruses can't stop me from doing that safely...

A poem, because I can... don't ask me either...

A long lost love, whom will remain unnamed…



The pressures build and the top becomes coiled, as thoughts and feelings come at me my blood boils. I cap my last hole and hold on to something tight, the temptations come and I hear them call. You stand there so patiently waiting for something more, and I want to scream it out at you so that the entire world may hear. Scream about my love for you and the things I’d like to do to you so that not only will you know, but you’d feel. Feel what I say because it would be said with so much passion and meaning I’d be releasing my feelings so that they could be shared.



I’d release a love so strong you’d have to hold on yourself, listening to my words as they run on from love to a plea. Not pleading that you might love me in return or that you understand. Pleading for the strength to understand myself why I love like this and how I might come to terms with myself if you won’t have me. Pleading for the strength to move again if you walk away, leaving me there alone like I have been since you went away. Went and left me alone here in the dark, or maybe I left you in the light to move into the dark. Pleading once again that these questions have no more meaning and you stay instead of go away.



Tears roll down my eyes as I think these things I’d rather not be thinking of. These thoughts that bring only worry and doubt, that come and pray upon my fears like a hunter would his dear. Thoughts of love once lost, now remembered, and rejoiced to what calibration none can attribute, for they exist only to torment me fully well knowing that I have no power against their spells of time, or their tricks of the mind. Tears roll across my checks as I remember these things I once held, the people I once loved, and remember once again that I’m all alone. Remember again that they are all gone. I hate to remember these things that I never want to forget…

My Rumor

The spectators, nor the men in the clown costumes know of my dismay. They sit and watch, and dance about while I stand here silently. The floats roll by and the audience cheers, and they clap their hands at the wonderful display.



A lady passes by, acknowledging me by surprise, in her haste she’d asked to be excused. I gave her no reply.



I noticed a bouquet of cotton candy perched upon a stick, being held by a young man in a uniform, the thought made me sick.



I came here for a reason you know, just one is all. If I told you it’d sound so strange, it’d make no sense at all.



You see, I heard a rumor that I’d know someone here. It’s one I told myself, and when I asked myself what made me think that, I found that I had left. So now I have come and I’m standing here waiting, but still no one I know is here.



I’d like to know what made me tell myself this rumor, and why I would ever believe it might be true. And perhaps if I had met someone here I knew, how it was I’d have known.



This I’d really like to know more, because now that I recall, that lady knew my name, yet I said nothing to her. So why did I come here at all?

Aight!

So I am not the only one who gets on here sometimes late at night. But it does appear that I'm the only one on this late. In anycase, I'm to the point of bored now and might just fucking go jog or something.

New Blog

Ok, so I put in my two week notice today. Cause like who want's to work for BK anyways? I don't know, I'll finda job somewhere.

Right now I'm going to watch Kung Fu, the whole series, every episode (from season one). So, if you need me.... forget it no one reads this shit.

AHhhhhhhhhAHHHHHHahHAhAHhHAhAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAhhHHHHHHHH.................... yes I typed that.

No one loves me

So I'm trying to make my profile cool. I know HTML, but can't figure how to work in these confided areas. I think I'm going to quit BK, just cause they're pissing me off.

Maybe I'll write a poem and go to bed.

pffft!!!!!!

Everyones always saying that they are up all night, but I just don't see it (probably smokin). Oh well, I'm done for now, I'll post my pic tomarrow (the one I've been working on for an hour now), I get off work at 3.

Me new Phone!!

So my phones up and running now, the numbers 503-290-8362. I don't think anyone even reads these so it's no biggy that I just posted it in the open like that.

I like had a blast at rockfest, unfortunatly I lost Hooker and that made it all weird and towards the end I was getting scared that I might have to leave him there. It sucks that I had to leave before Disturbed (half the reason for going). Played plenty of hacky-sack too.

Gotta go to work soon, so I'll post, message, and shit later.

August

Oh Well

So this morning I went out to get a phone, first the bank for the money. I got to the bank and then stoped in to goodwill real-quick. When I went in, it was like 9:45, when I came out, it was 10:30. But the thing is, I just went in, looked for a few minutes and came back out. So suddenly I'm late, and freaking out cause basically an hour of my day just vanished. I decided to skip the phone and just go hope the max cause I was so late. Luckily the person I had to meet also had an issue and was also an hour late. So I went to my dads and he decided to buy me a new phone for my birthday (making the trip this morning completly pointless).

So anyways, I hung with my siblings all day and went to watch Ghostbusters on the big screen. I noticed only one other person I knew there, and I don't know them all to well. That was Sam, then on the max coming home I saw Zoe. I'm gonna message her and say hi, sure she's got no clue who I am.

Now I'm going to activate my phone. Once I get the two year plan and lots o'minutes then I'll just post my number and anyone can call me. But for now, I only have like 50 minutes and they're spendy.

Ahhhhhhhh.........!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Okay..... no that doesn't feel any better!

It's a terrible thing, but my cell fell into the toilet! Yes I shorted it out and now it smells bad and won't turn on. Why do these things happen to me?

I knew it, it got fucked, just like I said it would

Well, I knew that that "One Thing" that was going good for me wouldn't last. But it looks like I'm going to rockfest, and my dad might be able to get me in for free. Now alls I I need is a better job and I'll be as happy as a... well.... um.... I can't think of anything that's always happy. I'll get back to ya'll about that. Uhhhh... later.

The middle of my pie

How about a cherry pie?
What would it mean to you if I gave you one?
I don’t like cherry pie,
Nor would I ever eat one.
And I wouldn’t expect my friends to think that I would.

So what if someone gave me a cherry pie?
Would I say thank you?
Would I look at it in disgust?
Do I even know what I’d do with it?

I don’t think I’d eat it,
I think cherries are gross like that,
But it’s rude not to eat something a friend thought to give you,
So what would I do?

I’ll tell you what I’d do.
I’d take the pie somewhere else,
And throw it away,
Not because I don’t like that person,
Not because I don’t care,
I just don’t like cherry pie,
Why should they care?

Then I’d go get them something,
And make it just as sweet,
And hope that I got them something they’d actually eat!!!

My hopes are up, why?

An update on me. Well, I hate my job. I'm geting poorer by the minute, and now I have to think about where to get some bux fast. Fucking computer buisness isn't moving fast enough. Maybe a should fuck this first computer, buy a new case and new ram, and just sell it. I don't know. Good things are happening, I think, so it's not complete dispare. But the light at the end of the tunel is dim, though it is getting brighter, this is usually where I find something else new out and everything goes to hell in a handbag fast, and fuck if that's stoping my hopes from being all up and getty. Stupid hopes, WTF are they thinking? I bought a squirrel xing magnet just to scan it's pic into the computer. Oh, and no one has subscribed to my blog! That's wonderful, it almost proves that no one cares. Yay! It's fun to be right! I've decided to start studying german again, first my notes, then taking more classes. So tomarrow I go to work again, fuck, I never asked for my birthday off. Well, that gives me like one week to do it. All in favor of me going to rockfest, say I!!!!!

August =)

Me, still alive.

Okay, so I got hung up on this neopets shit, and then I was sick. Now I've quit DQ and I have an interveiw with CompUSA tomarrow. I have been doing yardwork and this school term is basicly over. I'll be on later tonight to post more and I'll be on Yahoo as well.

It turns out this girl in my Reading class has a BF.

I don't know what to do with this neopets account. Should I waste a quarter and see if it'll sell on e-bay? Or just give it to Glory?

lol, man Vicky has such good luck, that even after telling on the bastard for all his shit the boss said he didn't care, so my freind quit to. Right, "why I quit", so like I was making 6 banana splits and he starts blabing at me about something I shouldn't do and I told him to shoush and he thought I said shut up so he yelled at me and I went in the next day with, "I Quit".

I'm stupid!

-begin neopets talk-
The smartest person says the stupiedest things! I always say I'll post again, but I never do. It's always days later. Anyways, Neopets is down (what a flip flop) and school is up! So I did my comp HW and now I'm didle dadle ing' around. I post, read e-mail, all the things normal people do. I wonder though, if when they fix neopets, if my pet will still be sick. the scruw-off came down with neopox (how lamb) and the meds to fix him are like $4500! All I have is 350, and every source of money for me has been used up (given that I was having trouble before they closed neopets down).
-end all neopets talk-

-general-
HW has been fine, work sucks, but I'm going to make it better. I think I'm going to apply somewhere like compUSA or OfficeDepo (however the hell you spell that). Hayley, the girl in my reading class talks to me more now. But I get the idea she's with someone. Math class is horrible. Glory and I talk alot. I saw Brittney Blevens today. She came through the drive through. I was going to say hi, but wasn't to sure of her name. But with the 2003 yearbook right infront of me (now), I'm sure that calling her britney would've worked. Oh well, she's been by before, I'll say hi when she comes by again. I'm glad I bought 2002, 2003, and 2004. Yay!!!
-end general-

-lie-
I'll post again later tonight, bye.
-end lie-

So like.... Neo me up Campin'

So Glory got me into these Neopet things other other day. I still think they're so childish and require vary little skill, but they're totally 5000 times more fun then HW. My school web page is down now (not kiding, seriously). So all I have to do is shower and reading HW and I'm back in Neopet land. The city has a real name but I can't remember it. It is interesting though how it's almost like the world economy. You can buy things cheep and sell them for insane prices, but if you are looking for something then you'll only find insinly priced items. lol. Anyways, I got to go, I'll post again.

An oath!

I hereby state that I'm going to try to track down some of my old freinds. I'll start with Jenny, then Bonnie, and anyone else who I feel the need to. Then when I've done that I'm going to try to find Steph, why I don't know.

Jacob IM'd me last night. We talked a while, from what he tells me about Roosevelt, it's becoming hell (more so then befor). Something serious needs to happen to get that school back onto the tracks. I say that mr. Kelly needs to get dumped, and snot nosed ms. Fero too! Jacob might be joining LJ, to talk about
life, and we can speak german.

Glory is being lazy. lol. (sorry Glory I needed something to say)

I have to go to work at three today, four friday, and three both saturday and sunday. I'm going to try to start posting everyday now. Why? I don't know.

Hayley was acting a bit differently last night, she hadn't read the pages needed for class and seemed a bit less with it then... okay so that's normal for her. I still think she's hot but somehow it seemed like a really bad time to start hitting on her. Oh well, there's thursday. Thursday I also have my final exam in reading. Maybe that would be a bad time as well. Well, we'll see what happens.

I need to get into some HW, so I'll talk again later. Peace out folks, August.

My life, me.... That guy on the bus.... with the zits....

I've been going out of my way to try to talk with Hayley (girl from my enlish class that is totally hot, and that I haven't talked about yet). Wearing Axe: Essence seems to get her attention better then my cologne, but it also gets the attention of Juan (the cook at DQ that I sometimes have to work with), and that's bad. Wearing shades latly only seems to give me the advantage of looking at people and having them not notice. My teach only gave me ten out of thirty cause she couldn't find my web page, how is that my fault? Oh shit, I have to read like thirty pages out of my book, I'll post more tomarrow, bye! August

Me, again.

So, I can't seem to stop thinking about Stephanie today. i had a dream about her last night. No it wasn't like that, that would have been a nice dream. Anyways, ever since I've been thinking about her. It sucks, and at the same time doesn't suck. I worked a long shift today, and all together I've got 43 hours already. That's alot for me. Plus there's still tomarrow befor the check period is up. HW isn't so tough right now, though my time is constrainded. That's it for me, I have to work tomarrow and sunday. TTFN

Queston (everyone must answer, with something): Would you rather lose everything that you had for a small chance at something you'll want for the rest of your life, and may never get another chance to have, or keep what you have and only risk losing what you'll want for the rest of your life?

P.S. Seriously, answer, please.

Give me your clothes!

Todays been all F'd up. I started early, recieved a headache for the day, and now tonight I'm fine again.
I got a new monitor to fix, two PS2 games to clean, I'm helping people online, and I have unknown homework.
So I won't do the homework, help those poor souls lost in the digital world, clean those games and brake a broken monitor.

Me in a nut shell, Peace Out, August

Tonight?

I won't, *yahns again*, post and you can't make me. Is anyone else feeling really tired? I got too much homework and too little time. Josy was going to go to PCC, but she dropped that idea, I don't know why. Stephs gone again, my computer class is a little hard, so is my reading class. I gotta work tomarrow at 5, gut I think I'll call in and try for an earllier time.

Recently with me,
-I like Ciaras One, Two Step.
-I got a laptop, from the goodwill, it works great though.
-I meet this girl in reading who shows no intrest in me, I think I'll give that up.
-I saw Troy, I thought it was good.
-I found out that I need to clean my room.

That girl continued.

The hell with waiting. OK, now that's done. My night sucked, tomarrow will be alright, a have a paper to do tonight, one tomarrow as well. Would you bevieve me if I told you I had to write two pages describing a vegtable? Yah, I thought it was weird too. lol, oh well, can't be that hard. Night, talk to you tomarrow.

She who I saw was not the she who I knew

She used to be there for me.
We used to talk alot.
When we were younger,
I liked her more then I thought.

I lied to her, and I lied to myself.
I said I didn't like her,
and that I hadn't seen her in a while.
These were the the mistakes I made,
and the ones for which I will never forgive myself.

I had seen her after which,
and I recognized her instantly.
I could have said something,
but something made me shut my mouth.

For years I had told myself it was fear,
fear that I might become someone like her.
I told myself if we could just meet again,
I'd say something to her.

But I know none of this is true,
she was my freind, and this would always be.
But my freind was gone, this was not her, this image wasn't she.

My freind was nice, she knew she was cool.
She didn't need drugs or alcohal to tell her this was true.
She had me and the gang, and no one challanged her just to be cool.
So she who I saw was not the she who I knew.

So if I saw her again,
I'd say nothing at all.
I'd just smile to myself,
and remember my freind,
the side of her,
who I saw and who I knew.