where I am...

I'm on my dad's comp right now. I have this major computer error with my drives right now so it looks like I'm going to be gone from myspace a few more days. Anyone trying to get a hold of me has a hundred percent better chance of doing so by calling me. My number is still 503-484-5690 but later in the day it might be in on the charger and I'll get back to you.

A practiced run-on (299 words, one sentence)

Coming from out of the dark searing my eyes with light that burns and melts my flesh away revealing bare bones and withered tissue beneath my flakey exterior which I had so carefully placed to hide what I did not wish for you to see knowing that you would not have had accepted me had you known of my faults and wrongs just as I can not accept myself in this way which is why I needed you to help me find a better part of myself that I'm sure does not exist except perhaps in my dreams where you are with me and I am not this person whom you run and hide from in fear of becoming a monster which I would allow you to do because I love you to much to allow things to become complicated like that between us though it seems I have failed already in that aspect for I know you but it seems you do not know me as anything more than a fear haunting you with each time I open my mouth though my only intent is to say hello and perhaps to introduce myself so that perhaps we might become familiar and could maybe see each other while moving into a relationship but of coarse now I've stepped ahead of myself and in this my secrets are revealed and you see past my shield right through to the meaning of all that I do and some how my actions scare you so you hide from me and I back away knowing the use to be useless and lacking purpose and as I back away I turn into the dark while a tear lines my eyes and my figure becomes nothing more than a memory which can not be forgotten.

Sleeping is a curse.

Hunger fills me as emptiness circumvents my last defense. I tried so hard not to but have failed and now it's gotten in. Thoughts turn to dust and imagination barges in, making what seemed forgotten remember that I hadn't forgotten anything at all. Reminiscing on past actions and the lack there of I feel pain and frustration driving me mad. Tearing me up inside I fall apart only to pick myself up again to suffer through more torture brought to me by myself in an attempt to meet a ends or perhaps to find something underneath which I can not decide. The red blots out my sight making everything to unclear to decipher. My view is skewed and everything becomes a single color.

I sit and for a while nothing happens, everything makes me skittish, all my senses are twisted. Finally I let go, that's when it comes. My sight returns and I can smell. I'd know I could touch and feel but your not there and that's how I know, I've not forgotten my love for you nor will I ever. I break down and cry trying to understand why this is happening to me. Why is it that I can't just forget what I must forget to survive, what I can't have, who I can't be with? It makes a hole and buries it's self deep inside me and again I get up and move on. Maybe tomorrow night I won't feel this way.

Pardon my intrusion

Climbing into bed I curl up beside you,
Kissing you on the forehead I study your figure,
Amazed by your beauty I couldn't imagine being without you,
Holding you tight I will see you in my dreams tonight.

A tear presses through my eyes as I dream of you,
Your beauty beholds me while the world tears me away,
Kissing your forehead once more before you awake,
I get up and leave you asleep.

My mind returns to what I must do,
The real world isn't as nice as my dream world with you,
As I fold up my hide-a-bed and put you away,
My thoughts and love for you are filed away.