Particals of nothing Atoms... floating in my head.

I tear myself apart, each and every night.
Staring at the blotts of darkness, that stick to my eyes.
Lying awake unable to rest, thoughts and memories run rancid through my head.

It's not that I want them to go, but that they're out of control.
I couldn't stop it if I wanted to, and I wouldn't if I could.
I want it to continue, but I want it to change.

These thoughts come and I know what they mean.
I already knew I loved her, and that bothers me.
I know I can't see her and it kills me.

Sometimes I'd like to drill a screwdriver into my head,
to digg the images out and forget about it.
Sometimes I'd like to see her again, just so I could tell her.
Tell her that I love her, even if it means it's the end.

Every now and then I'd like to go to sleep, and never wake up.
Then I wouldn't have to try sleeping again, and the memories would stop.
Maybe it's all in my head.